Fiction: Simon Barton

Simon Barton woke to his own scream at 3:47 AM on a cool October Thursday.

It’s been a few years since I wrote those words. I’m still amazed I managed to write a sci-fi short story, even though most readers think it should be in the “horror” section. Anyway, I’m reposting my first real attempt at non-spoof, non-sardonic, non-Trek science fiction.
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Classic: When Trucks Meet Banks

Another old classic from my past web pages (Spring 1999). This event was also featured on the Tard of the Month website, which chronicles bad drivers in Atlanta.

So what happens when a tall vehicle goes under a short object? How sturdy are Ryder Trucks? Why do banks have that “low clearance” bar before you get to the drive-thru? Thanks to the fact my co-worker Billy had a camera in the car, we can now answer these questions.
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Classic: Panicing User Virus

As part of my great website adventure, I am moving content from my old website to’s Greymatter database. This classic (i.e. old) gem comes from 1998, when virus hoaxes ran wild like herds of buffalo in the Great American Southwest (pre-European invasion).

The “Panicing User Virus” e-mail was one I composed in response to yet-another-virus-hoax being sent through my company’s e-mail system. The worst part of it … I work for a computer company, where the people should know better! It might have been a bit harsh, but tough love is sometimes the best.
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