Random absurdity in the news keeps me from posting my weekend update. This has to come first.
I got a look at the “2002 Pig Book”, a collection of government pork projects compiled by the Citizens Against Government Waste (CATW). It’s interesting to see what kind of crap we’re allowing to get into the budget.
Let’s take a look at the great state of Georgia, where I maintain my humble residence. What does the Pig Book say about my representatives?
$2,189,000 for projects in Savannah in the district of House appropriator Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), including $1,089,000 for the operation and maintenance of Savannah Harbor. Rep. Kingston has to keep the harbor looking good for the Savannah Water Ferry, for which he has obtained $2.4 million since 1999 through the Transportation Appropriations bill (see page 46).
$450,000 added in conference to restore chimneys on Cumberland Island in the district of House Interior Appropriations subcommittee member Jack Kingston (R-Ga.). Cumberland Island is a popular getaway for vacationers. Its website boasts that the island is one of Georgia’s best-kept secrets. The smoke coming out those chimneys will be tax dollars burning.
$14,700,000 added by the House in the district of House appropriator Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), including: $3,600,000 for Chatham bus and bus facilities; $1,000,000 for the Savannah Water Ferry (for a total of $2.4 million received since 1999); and $1,000,000 for Job Access and Reverse Commute Grants in Chatham.
Well, I’m glad to know Georgia’s representatives are on the ball. Remind me to bitch-slap Jack Kingston if I ever meet him. What are these tie-wearing morons doing with my money? Of course, congressional stupidity isn’t restricted to Georgia. Let’s look at Missouri:
$273,000 added in conference in the state of Senate appropriator Christopher “Kit” Bond (R-Mo.) for the Blue Springs Youth Outreach Unit for educational training in combating Goth culture.
We all know that goths are a great problem to the Unites States government. I know that Tom Daschle lies awake at night in his DC apartment, wondering when pale men in tight black outfits will mount an assault on his residence. There’s nothing more dangerous to American society than a bunch of untanned kids in vinyl pants, especially in the thriving metropolis of Blue Springs. This war on goths must be an underground war. The Blue Springs Youth Outreach Unit (YOU) website makes no mention of their Federal Goth Warchest.
Bad congressman … no cookie!
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