While checking up on Alton Brown, my favorite TV chef, I discovered the existence of the Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine video game for the Nintendo Wii. I also discovered videos & reviews that indicate the game isn’t very good.
If they ever decide to try another version, I have a few ingredients to suggest for a more palatable game.
1. Use the Mii, Luke. Instead of the weird big-headed avatars featured in the game, Iron Chef America should be using Miis to represent the player and their opponents. Knives and woks magically float in the air as a smiling-yet-demented Mii cooks up tasty bits of Biif for a crowd of hungry bowlers. How awesome would a Masaharu Morimoto Mii be in a Wii Sports style Kitchen Stadium … I say it would be a tasty kind of awesome with a side of soy dressing.
2. Nintendo Franchise Tie-Ins. With Iron Chef America on the Wii you have an army of existing franchises to leverage. You’re totally missing the chance for a Super Mario Brothers tie in … Iron Chef Mario (Batali) versus Luigi, with Goombas as assistants. Secret ingredient: mushrooms! As a bonus, Alton Brown can power-up by slapping Bobby Flay.
3. Make it More Japanese. The fun of the original show was the wacky Japanese game show quality of the program. Iron Chef America looses some of that, but a game for a Japanese console has no excuse for not bringing it back. Side games of gauntlet throwing should be included, along with the ability to create your chef’s epic backstory video via a MadLibs-style form during character setup. The audience isn’t taking this seriously, so why should the game designers?
Grind is no fun, which is why good chefs use Cuisinarts. Make a fun game instead … otherwise the game designers eat nothing but ramen noodles for a month as punishment. No epic cuisine for you.
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